ربما من هنا .. استجمع تفاصيلي برفق .. فقد يكون مروراً لخيالات مطلسمة لم تجد لها حائطاً تبكي عليه ..
حتى انني فقدت كل ما يستدل بي على كوني انساناً لا يزال ينعم بجزء يسير من اكسجين مشترك ..
ربما أنني في المكان الخطأ .. ربما هي شخصية اخرى .. لا احد يدرك الحقيقة ..كون الشخوص محتكرة بيني وبينه.. وفقدنا المسلك الصحيح لفك تلك الطلاسم .. وربما لأنني ضقت ذرعاً بانتفائنا من نفس المكان .. إلا أنني هنا لأجله فقط ! .. حتى وان تنازعتنا شراك الايام .. فالايام حبلى بالدموع كما يقولون..
ربما مروري من هنا هو مرور سلام امن لم يخلق إلا من خلاله جبينه .. فهو ثمن للحياة على أية حال ..
فقد جمعنا في حائط الليل ذكريات ارجوحة و بسمة خلقت لنا نحن الاثنين..
كانت الصدفة وكانت اللقائات تتسرب الى ذلك الجدار المقدس واللوحة التي جعلت من كلمة “للايجار” اجمل كلمة في الدنيا قد تعبر عن لحظة ما..
ذلك المكان جمع كل ما تبقى من ذكريات الأمس و الحاظر .. حتى هو و أنا ..كلانا يرسم نفس التفاصيل و نفس الأغنيات و نفس الكلمات ..
كلانا يتذكر عناويين القصائد والأغاني التي اطلقناها نحو السماء بداية من اغاني فيروز و مروراً “”بـمرتاح أحبك” و التي سرقت كل ماتبقى من فتات عقل فيه و فيني.. منتهيين عند اواخر الشتاء ..
كانت صباحاتنا شعلة من ترانيم لؤلؤية و بداية نطفة من كادي تشتعل بأياديه التي خلقت لتصافح الجنة..
من سننتين و ثمانية أشهر تقريباً .. كنت في كل ليلة, تـُنتزع الروح مني .. بعد ما أدرك أن لا وفاء يوازي وفائه ..
كان يخنق كل ما تبقى لي من أنفاس مصطنعة تتواجد داخلي ..
عندما أجد نفسي منزوع الوسيلة في وصف حالة تعتريني .. ابدء بمرحلة أداء القسم ..
فاقسم من هنا .. انه احرق كل ماتبقى من ظلال بياض لدي ببياضه.. ونسف كل ما ربيت عليه من صفاء .. ولعن كل ماتبقى لي من حقيقة .. فهو طهر لم تكتنفه أي خطيئة ..
لحظات الضعف و الانكسار من الصعب انكارها حتى وان تظاهرنا بذلك.. و ها أنا الان اعترف بانكساري الذي لم استطع تحديد هويته .. وان استطعت فلن ينفع اطلاقاً .. كونها حقنة موت لا تنفع معها تحديد ملامح او تشخيص حالة …
فاعترف انه نزع روحي معه ..
و اعترف انني أجد فيه فارساً وملك فقد التتويج ..
و اعترف انه اجمل اسرار كوني والذي لن يباح عنه إلا في يوم الحشر ..
واعترف انني لن أجد احداً يستطيع احتلال و لو شبراً من أرضه داخلي ..
واعترف انه جمع الكون بأكمله و اختزله في ذاته ..
و اعترف انه شرخ ذاكرتي و كينونتي بوجوده المغيب..
و اعترف انه جمع طهر المستقبل في كل أيام وجوده..
واعترف انه طرق أبواب البياض أكثر من مرة ولم أجب..
و اعترف انه امتص و استنزف كل المفردات الوردية من لساني..
واعترف انه كلما وصلت أصابعه لعينيه يطير سرب من الفراش ..
واعترف أنني عاجز عن صنع عبارة حب في لحظات غيابه ..
واعترف انه يبكيني رغم قساوة الدموع ..
واعترف انه انهك عقلي و جسدي في عبوره..
واعترف انني احبوا على ذكراه ..
واعترف انني مقيداً بتفاصيله..
و اعترف انه لعن وجوده بدوني ولم أبارك..
و اعترف انه ساهم في تقويمي وانا الذي سقطت ..
واعترف انه بصق على الدنيا ان لم أكن معه ..
و اعترف أنني أسابق ظلي لزرع تفاصيلي على أذنيه ..
واعترف انه تنازل عن كل مايعنيه.. وأنا لم أفعل..
واعترف انه يملك صوتاً ملائكياً وينعتني بصفته ..
و اعترف انه يلعب على أوتاري ..
واعترف انه ينزف نزف كبرياء ..
واعترف انه قادر على جعل كل الالوان لوناً واحداً ان اراد..
و اعترف انه خلاصة سكر ..
و اعترف انه مجبول على السخاء ..
و اعترف انه خلق علاقة معي غير كل العلاقات ..
واعترف انه سخر كل أجنحة الكون لتطير لي..
واعترف انه نال من كل جريرة تتبع هواي ..
واعترف انه تعارك مع شياطيني ..
واعترف انه ابتلع همهماتي..
و اعترف انه ساهم في زراعة شراييني و اعضائي بشكل أجمل..
واعترف انه قيد خطواتي باتجاه غيره..
واعترف أن اسمه معلق بين قلبي و شفتاي..
واعترف ان كلانا يحمل لقباً من صنع الاخر..
واعترف انه لعب في تسارع دقات قلبي ..
واعترف انه يحفظ تفاصيلي و ملامحي وكأنه أشرف على تكويني ..
واعترف انني علقت اخر هداياه على اكتافي ..
واعترف اننا حفظنا سوياً هذا الدعاء ” اللهم اغفر لي وارحمني وألحقني بالرفيق الأعلى” لكي يبتلعنا القدر ..
واعترف انه الحقني بركب الاخرة !
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