هي دعوات للغياب أتمتم بها في كل حين , حتى وان اختلفت المفردات وتغيرت ملامح الوجوه من حولي!
في ذلك المقهى القريب من منزلنا .. أحجز طاولتي لساعات حتى وإن تأخرت على الموعد ..
ولكن النرجسية تلعب دور غير تقليدي في هذا الموقف .. لإنني بإختصار أريد ان امتلك ذلك المكان حتى ولو لساعات!
ببساطة أريد أن امتلك حياتي هناك!
لا زلت في خصام مع الزمن .. ولازلت اعاني من بيئتي الموصومة بـ “الرسميات المقيتة” و “الوجوه المغلفة” و التي طغت على كل ماهو محرض للصفاء الذهني.. و الذي افتقدته منذ أن تلبستني تهمة “الرجل” ..
لست معقداً إطلاقاً ولكنني اقنعت نفسي أنني أنسب رجلاً في هذا العالم من يمتلك القدرة على تلبس حالات الحرمان والجنون ..
هكذا هو واقعي وبكل أسف!
أتذكر جيداً تاريخي البسيط من طفولتي .. كانت ككل الذكريات التي قد تمر على أحدهم ويطلق لحظتها صرخات الاًه والحنين ..
ولكن بالنسبة لي كانت اعمق بكثير .. هي حالة تعتريني لتنفس الحياة مرة أخرى وبطعم اخر..
رسم الفضاء الأبيض مميت .. وحدود الحروف لدي متعبة!
غبار المستقبل ينهكني حقاً .. لكنني سأعيش حتى ولو على ضفاف سيرة أغلقت للأبد
فأقدارنا سلبوها منك ياربي وجيروها لأنفسهم .. وأنا في إنتظار عقابك لهم! فامنحني تلك اللحظة!
على أية حال .. الجو الان ممطر .. والشوارع ملبدة با العيون الحالمة .. كل تفاصيل المتعة متوفرة … والاهم أنني سرقت الزمن وأتيت هنا لأرجع إليك يامجنون .. أنت من تبقى لي من فتات الوفاء..
تحملوني .. فكلماتي أعيتها الرمزية وسيطرت عليها ذنوب الطلاسم .. ولكن عزائي الوحيد أنكم معي
أشتقت لكم شوق سجين! ..
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